Young & Stylish Living in Washington DC

Formal Events 101: When to Splurge, Save, and Compromise

Of the many things I love about Washingtonian living, the ability to attend social and networking events is undoubtedly my favorite. While each varies in dress code and alcohol availability (and cost), all offer the opportunity to celebrate something amongst friends, loved ones and peers—always a worthy cause, regardless of the occasion. And because there are so many of them going on at any given time, fitting one, a few, or a lot of these events into a busy DC schedule isn’t particularly difficult. (Especially for those who are socially talented.)

As someone to attends and reviews these gatherings regularly, I can safely say it’s the best part of my job. There’s little I enjoy more than getting dolled up and sipping champagne while checking out the eye candy donning suits, ties, and driving loafers. No matter what cause the festivities are honoring, I’m humbled and excited to frequent each one I’m invited to, that my schedule allows. Being a lifelong social butterfly who popped her event cherry long ago, I fully understand the both the personal and business benefits of being a frequently featured face at such soirees. Of course, social affairs are meant to be fun and therefore often have a guest list comprised of 20-to-30-somethings that are ideal for mingling. (It’s rare that I don’t make at least one new friend at these shindigs, if not several. The often-present open bar helps.) But because such functions usually honor some cause or charity, it’s more than likely that you’ll collect several a few business cards as well. (For some reason, professionals love getting behind non-profits they’ve never heard of. Makes them seem pious, I suppose. But as usual, I digress.)

Since the schmoozing you’ll do at any given affair will be in part, business-related, it’s important to devote a considerable amount of preparation in advance as to put one’s best foot forward on event day. Remember that stepping out to a social or networking gala is like presenting a live resume to the other guests—your behavior (and that of those you bring with you) most certainly reflects upon you both personally and professionally. And since you never know just who you will meet, it’s always a good idea to be ready rather than sorry. (I refuse to say “safe” because in this world, playing it “safe” usually means coming in last.)

While this guideline applies to every Washingtonian event regardless of how fancy it is, formal and black tie affairs make it a rule to live by. Likely including an elegant dress code and affluent guest list, formal galas up the ante significantly. Aside from the fact that it’s fun to feel like a VIP (if only for a night), the chances of meeting a really valuable contact (or famous person) are significantly increased. Social norms also tend to become more conservative at black tie events, and making a jackass of yourself at one can really come back to haunt you. (Especially if there are photographers in attendance. Did you know that all of those pictures are posted online? I bet you regret making that stupid kissy/platypus-looking face now, don’t you?)

With the Presidential Inauguration right around the corner, it’s more than likely that quite a few Washingtonians will losing their black-tie v-card next weekend. I admit it: taking all of this into consideration can be overwhelming, especially for first-timers. (I remember being really nervous for my formal event debut.) The pressure of making a positive professional impression while also enjoying oneself can be heavy—it’s not a social equilibrium designed for the faint of heart. From choosing an outfit to a date and everything in between, it’s easy for a newbie to prepare incorrectly. While some don’t do nearly enough, most others women go overboard and often spend way too much cash on it in the process. Both are bad ideas. Take it from a seasoned veteran: being ready for a social affair (even a formal one) doesn’t always require a credit card. To help my newly imported Washingtonians properly get ready for the 2013 Presidential Inauguration balls and galas, here’s some friendly advice on where to splurge, how to save, and when to compromise.

• Admission/Tickets: Splurge. (If absolutely necessary, that is!)
  
  Nearly all black tie social events (weddings aside) require a ticket for admission, much like other, less-fancy affairs. However, as expected, formal parties often come with a much steeper price tag. But, that doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily end up footing the bill. More often than not, gaining access to these soirees can be done simply by referencing your ever-growing Roladex and asking around. It’s rare that I actually pay to attend any networking or social function, but instead get tickets from valued clients or friends who have better access than I. (In fact, this is how I received my two tickets to the inauguration gala I’ll be attending, The All American Ball.)
  
  If you’re not lucky enough to have insider connections with the ticket hookup, the price can be a little scary. (After checking online, I found out that tickets to the ball I’m attending are $215.00 a pop!) But in the case of the inauguration, I highly advise that you put your big boy/girl pants on, get over it, and splurge. Sure, admission can get really slightly expensive, but keep in mind that the cost most likely comes with amenities as well. (Think full meals, entertainment, open top-shelf bar, etc.) And since the Presidential Inauguration only happens every four years, it’s worth it to spend a little extra just to celebrate history while hobnobbing with famous faces. Plus think of it this way: unless you have a connection to tickets, buying one is your only option if you want to attend. (Unless you want to be like that lameass DC housewife who crashed a White House party. Don’t be the uninvited bitch at the party who isn’t wanted.)
  
  
• The Plus One: Compromise. (Not too much, of course.)
  
  For those fortunate enough to be in a committed relationship, the date question is a no-brainer. For the single ladies however, the plus-one choice is a little more difficult. Those without a devoted man are usually prompted to take the best looking guy they know—even without a close friendship or anything in common. Keep in mind however: hot guys are awesome, having nothing to talk about isn’t.
  
  While having a Ryan-Gosling-level-sexy man on your arm is never a bad thing, don’t forget that you’ll actually have to spend the evening with this person and therefore should actually enjoy hanging out with him. Not only is it simply more fun take a date with whom you share similar interests, but inviting one that you have a solid connection with is more likely to attract potential business contacts as well. Remember that a plus-one is an extended reflection of yourself, personally and professionally. The twosomes with a natural and easy-going rapport act like magnets, attracting others wherever the evening takes them. These are the people that make guests just want to be around them. And of course, a date should also be a pro at handling social situations with the innate ability to talk to anyone and make a positive impression. (Just because he’s hot, doesn’t mean he’s a fantastic conversationalist. I’ve learned this the hard way. #fact)
  
  That’s why when it comes to a plus-one, I recommend my Washingtonian ladies to put some serious thought into their choice of guest and compromise. Who one associates with can be as great (positive or negative) of an impact as one’s outfit, ultimately making your date choice among the most important pre-event decisions. Find a guest that not only looks good and dresses up well, but compliments who you are and what you bring to the table. (Because hey, if other great people want to be around you, then obviously you must be pretty cool… right?) That way, you can enjoy yourself all while sporting some eye candy and collecting business cards at the same time.
  
  
• The Dress: Compromise.
  
  Being a staunch fashion enthusiast, it goes without saying that getting dressed for black tie soirees is nearly as awesome to me as attending the event itself. While I generally rotate through a series of dresses that can be considered business-casual or cocktail attire, formal affairs and their stricter dress codes make outfit choices a little more complicated—if for nothing else, because there are likely few black tie appropriate gowns hanging in a 20-to-30-somethings closet. If you’re like me, chances are good that only one or two are owned, and have already been sported more than once. While I obviously don’t want to continually wear the same exact thing, remember that buying something new for a one-time function is only exciting until the event is over. Then, you’re just left with an expensive-ass dress that you’ll rarely ever wear.
  
  First, I encourage readers to consider borrowing an outfit from a friend who wears a similar size, as it’s the cheapest option and shopping in your pal’s closet is totally fun. (Don’t lie. It is.) If you’re unable to track one down or aren’t particularly thrilled at the idea of wearing your girlfriend’s, check out Rent the Runway. This fantastic website allows users to rent outrageously expensive designer clothing for cheap. Worried about choosing the right size? Don’t worry—RTR will ship you a second size for free. Nervous that you won’t like the dress on? Again, fear not. Rent the Runway users can reserve a second dress (and size) for only $25.00. (You get to keep both for periods of four or eight days, so it’s perfect if you’ve got more than one formal event to attend.) While they mostly offer dresses, it’s also possible to rent high-end jewelry and purses for a low-cost as well. (In fact, the site is completely user interactive and a pleasure to use. In addition to offering fitting information and suggestions of matching accessories, it’s also possible to see pictures and hear feedback from others who’ve rented the same dress. I’m a loyal believer.) There’s nothing wrong with rental couture, regardless of whether you’re shopping RTR or something else, like Bag Borrow and Steal. (Yes, Sex and the City fans, it’s a real thing. And it’s really, really awesome.) Sure, you have to return it in the end, but renting ensures you’re dressed to the nines while being a hell-of-a-lot cheaper than purchasing an outfit you’ll never wear again. Sounds like an ideal compromise to me.
  
  (Here are the three dresses I chose between for Sunday’s inauguration festivities: #1, #2, #3. Guess you’ll have to stay tuned to see which I went with!)
  
  
• Beauty Preparations (Hair, Makeup, Nails, etc.): Splurge some, compromise some.
  
  Black tie events are meant to make guests feel like luxe VIPs, and therefore preparing for one should ignite similar emotions. Especially if you saved on your outfit (either by recycling one from your closet, borrowing from a friend, or renting one), pamper yourself a bit by indulging in some day-of beauty treatments. Women absolutely love spa days, so formal affairs are a perfect excuse to have one.
  
  If you have the financial means, I’d say get the works and turn to professionals to handle your hair, make-up, and nails. (If you’re so inclined, spray tanning couldn’t hurt either.) Even those with smaller budgets shouldn’t neglect the fun of splurging. Most makeup kiosks in shopping malls will apply yours for free, assuming you purchase something from them. (It could be something small, even. Doing this with the MAC booth got me through every event I’ve gone to for next-to-nothing.) When it comes to hair and nails, pick which you aren’t as stellar at doing yourself and book an appointment. Personally, I’m comfortable styling my hair but my nails need serious work, being a habitual biter. (Don’t think hand care isn’t important, because it is—especially as you’ll be shaking hands and holding a drink in plain sight all evening.) Therefore, I chose to save by coloring and styling my hair myself but splurged by booking a much-needed date with a manicurist. Everyone has to make sacrifices sometimes, right?
  
  
• Transportation: Save. (Showing up is half the battle)
  
  Of all the costs associated with attending a black tie affair, transportation should be the least expensive—who the hell cares as long as you get there, right? If the function is close enough, walking or taking the Metro is a perfectly acceptable option. (I actually love the attention garnered from sporting formal wear through the Metro. Surprised? Me neither.) For the soirees too far to walk or metro, any taxi cab that will drop you off alive will do just fine. (Because drunk driving is a stupid idea, no matter what.) It’s unlikely that people will be standing outside, so no one will see what whip you show up in anyways. Again, just get there.
  
  But of course, if you’re looking to arrive a little more stylishly, Uber Cab always does the trick. Classy and cashless, Ubers are town cars or luxury SUVs that can be called, tracked, and paid for from any location via smart phone. While I think they’re the quickest and most efficient way of travel in the DMV, Uber Cabs are definitely more expensive than a regular taxi—especially on high volume evenings. (On New Years Eve, I was too drunk didn’t notice the “Rates = 4x” notice Uber put up prior to reservation and ultimately paid nearly $300.00 in transportation alone. #majorouch) That experience, combined with my rare inclination to be cheap, prompts me to encourage inaugural-ball-going Washingtonians to arrive by the most cost-effective means possible. Again, the important thing is just getting there, not what you arrive in.

Whether you take all, some, or none of my advice, remember: although formal functions are meant to be fun, there is always a professional bottom line attached. Keep in mind that your presence at such events is a direct reflection on your personal and business life, therefore requiring the utmost attention. Don’t forget my newly imported Washingtonians, that those with a plan are often also the ones who come out rocking it, both inside and outside of the office. Neglecting to put thought and consideration into one’s tickets, date, outfit or beauty efforts pre-party can end up being costly in more ways than one. It doesn’t matter if you splurge, save, or compromise on everything. A lack or preparation will ultimately turn networking and social events into work, rather than a medium that works for you—something you’re not paid nearly enough to do past 6:00 anyways, regardless of what job you have.

Make Your Gratitude Sparkle: The Importance of Showing Appreciation

Like most other social behaviors, we are taught the rules of appreciation from a very early age. Whether it be remembering to say please or thank you, children are constantly reminded of these guidelines throughout adolescence. Ideally, the regular use of these simple phrases as a means of expressing gratitude turns such behavior into habit, eventually developing mature, polite adults. And as the definition of “appreciation” grows increasingly more complex with age, remembering to be outwardly thankful for whatever positive things are thrown your way becomes more important than ever before. When you’re a kid, forgetting to say “please” or “thank you” can be chalked up a youngster who hasn’t fully matured yet. On the other hand, adults who neglect such terms are seen as rude assholes—an opinion that will reflect upon the individual personally and professionally.

Despite the fact that expressing gratitude can often be accomplished with just a few short words, I’ve found that several grown adults leave them out of their regular vocabulary—a personal pet peeve of mine. (I’ve been known to scold friends who don’t say “please” on more than one occasion, even if they intended to follow up with “thank you.” Can’t have one without the other. #neverbeenlesssorry) Especially with those you know well, it’s easy to become too comfortable and assume that “please”, “thank you”, and other displays of appreciation are implied and therefore unnecessary to repeat. This my friends, is a misconception that can get one into trouble both in and out of the office. Regardless of whether it was a friend, romantic partner, business contact, or coworker that went the extra mile for you, showing gratitude is a key component to maintaining and strengthening such relationship. Often, these people have gone above and beyond out of the goodness of their heart, and aren’t looking for a grand overture of thanks. Usually, just simple acknowledgement will go a long, long way. Without it however, one can assume that you’re unappreciative and will be left with little to no incentive to help (or interact with) you in the future. (i.e. You’re a douche bag.) And while friends or lovers may be more lenient regarding such rude behavior, don’t think for a second they won’t eventually get fed up. Trust me, they will.

I was reminded of the importance of showing appreciation last week when I attended the 2013 Sparkle Lounge event hosted by the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. As a party dedicated to expressing gratitude to the many clients and vendors the RRB staff works with regularly, I was hyped to attend. (Especially because it had also been a year since I began reviewing their events. Happy Anniversary!) Humbled to receive multiple invitations to the Sparkle Lounge, I promptly extended them to five close friends. (One of which I invited specifically as a means of thanking him for the gorgeous photos he took, which I used on my marketing company website. You rule MM!)

Like expected, the entire evening was planned to perfection with strict adherence to detail—something I’ve come to love and expect from this talented group of event planners. Whether it be the uniquely prepared finger foods, swanky and cool decor, or fully stocked open bar, the hosts took every step possible to ensure that guests enjoyed the party. And with a cocktail attire dress code and a DJ spinning the hottest beats, it was clear that the staff wanted all attendees to feel like a luxe VIP—regardless of whether the client was a regular guest or a first-timer. I beamed with excitement when my pals entered the Atrium and were awestruck by it’s splendor. Walking down the beautifully lit staircase, I felt nothing but pride regarding my fantastic and highly valued relationship with the event planning and sales staff. It was undeniably clear that the Ronald Reagan Building team wanted every vendor to know how important they (and their business) was to them—an objective they successfully accomplished. It wasn’t just what was said to guests that made the evening a smashing success, however. But instead, how attendees felt while mixing, mingling, and schmoozing: like a complete badass.

After such an experience, it’s impossible for me (or anyone else for that matter) to not want to do business with the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. Not only did they go above and beyond to thank me for my hard work over the past year, but they gave me a reason to dress up and celebrate 2013 with my friends. (One of every Washingtonian’s my favorite activities.) I can firmly say my buddies and I had a fantastic time. (The massive hangover I woke up with the next morning was even worth it.) And as each of my personal guests overflowed my phone with text messages and calls thanking me for including them, I was humbly reminded that the social rules of appreciation are necessary in every relationship—business or otherwise. Had they neglected to simply say “thank you” to me, the chances of them snagging access to the next baller soiree would be slim to none. (And frankly, I’d be slightly pissed off offended, too.) It just goes to show: displays of appreciation can come in any size, but their presence is paramount. My new Washingtonians, remember that even the smallest gesture can go a long way—in business, love, and life.

Always blissfully thankful for friends, family, and clients,

<3Y&SDC

The Best Inauguration Viewing Spots in DC: Anywhere BUT the National Mall

Living in the nation’s capitol, it goes without saying that some pretty cool shit happens in Washington DC each and every day. Even if it wasn’t where most of our country’s major decisions are made, there is always something going on and seeing famous faces isn’t uncommon. (You just have to keep an eye out, as the hype following them will be much smaller than if spotted in a larger city.) For those who call the DMV home, it’s easy to take such events for granted or be annoyed by their great frequency. In addition to being overloaded with promotional advertisements, many Washingtonians take the attitude of “That’s cool, but I’ll catch the next one…” due to their constantly reoccurring nature. After all, who wants to attend the same party with the same people, week in and week out? (Even when for different causes, I’d still pass.)

And while practically everything that goes down in Washington DC is broadcast nationwide, those living outsize the cozy Beltway bubble generally don’t trek down here for each one. Much to the dismay of DMV residents however, every once in a while there is an event so nationally recognized that it draws swarms people to our little slice of paradise. Sure, it’s awesome having friends and family visit for such instances, but we already have way too many tourists regularly haunting our streets, bars, and public transport systems—the last thing we need are more. (You remember tourists, right? They’re my favorite people… behind absolutely everyone else.) Festivities of grand proportions, such as the upcoming Presidential Inauguration for example, make tiny and usually peaceful DC overfilled with large and loud outsiders. When the nation’s eyes are focused on the DMV, everything from getting a drink to riding the Metro becomes about a million times slower, more complicated, and obnoxious.

Barack Obama’s January 2009 inauguration was the first I experienced as an official Washingtonian. Being our nation’s only African American president, DMV residents knew in advance that the tourist levels would reach annoyingly new heights. In the days leading up to inauguration, enormous buses flowed downtown constantly, lining the DC streets and dumping droves of fanny-pack wearing, map-carrying individuals along the way. Working on the National Mall as the public relations intern for the Natural History Museum, I witnessed and dealt with these people first-hand. Their numbers were outstanding, army-like even. And despite the unusually cold winter weather, visitors used every opportunity to get the “complete” District experience—usually resulting in tourists trying (and miserably failing) to use our metro systems, all while stopping to take pictures along the way. Trust me, simply getting up the escalator to get to work was a complete pain in the ass circa January 2009. (We understand that you’re on vacation, but Washingtonians aren’t. Basically: get the hell out of our way and capture precious moments elsewhere.) 

For this reason (among others), my then-boyfriend and I chose to watch the historic inauguration from the comfort of our cozy Arlington bedroom—a decision I’ve never regretted, especially as my friends who did attend said they froze-to-death and were unable to see anything thanks to the massive crowd. In the end, every one said that being on the National Mall that day was their first mistake, as they failed to get anything truly meaningful out of it. Instead, it was just a lot of shivering and standing in line. Each reported that the experience would have been the opposite of miserable if they spent it elsewhere.

Even though I likely won’t be as domesticated for Obama’s 2013 inauguration, I will be avoiding the National Mall like the plague. (And advise all Washingtonians to do so as well.) Fortunately, there are several other options for established residents looking to watch inauguration over cheap drinks in a tourist-free location. Here are the Young&Stylish DC top picks:

• A viewing party held by a friend, family member, or co-worker.
  
  Attending a get-together hosted by a close pal or relative is great for those interested in a calmer and more relaxing inaugural experience. Chances are good that attending guests will be already-made buddies or acquaintances, offering a chance to reconnect and catch up with those you may not have seen recently.
  
  But as people generally surround the television for the majority of such gatherings, it’s unlikely that the party will become a blowout bash—perfect if you have to return to the office the next day or aren’t looking to spend money at the bar. (Not to say that people won’t be drinking, because they will. Most Washingtonians have a massive slight alcohol problem.) And because these shindigs are intended for a smaller number of people, it’s more than likely that the provided munchables will be outstanding as well. An obvious win-win in my book.
  
  
• Any bar or restaurant, with TVs, located nowhere near the National Mall.
  
  For those looking to use inauguration as an excuse to rage, you’re in luck. With most DC bars open until 4 am, pretty much any place showing the event is ideal… as long as it’s not near the National Mall. (To be safe, I’d say that anything below I Street NW is tourist territory.) As these venues will be jam-packed with visitors ordering food and drinks, Washingtonians must venture to spots set at a distance to receive the same quick and efficient service they would normally. Regardless of their location, many bars and restaurants across the DMV are offering drink and food specials to patrons coming in to watch inauguration—ultimately allowing residents to save money, avoid crowds, and get their jam dance on all at the same time. (Whoever said you can’t have your cake and eat it too was obviously seriously misinformed.)
  
  
• A fancy ball or gala hosted by some DC society you’ve likely never heard of.
  
  Washingtonians who are down to get down stylishly would enjoy attending one of the many balls or galas held District-wide in honor of inauguration. Aside from giving guests a reason to get dolled up, an open-bar, entertainment, and free finger foods are virtually guaranteed. More often than not, the party is hosted by some organization or nonprofit that you’ve never heard of and consequently requires a purchased ticket for admission. Even if you’re not lucky enough to have free passes graciously handed to you, attending these fancy events are still worth your time and money. In addition to the aforementioned amenities, these extravagant galas are always filled with powerful and famous people (politicians are people too, despite the common misconception) to mix and mingle with—a networking dreamboat. Any time is a good time to collect business cards in DC, so why not expand your Roladex while Obama is put on display before every contact in his? It takes the pressure and attention off, allowing one to drink eat run-around-naked celebrate alongside countrymen and advance professionally at the same time. And as efficiency mongers, there’s nothing Washingtonians love more than killing two birds with one stone.

End of Story: Regardless of where one watches the 2013 Presidential Inauguration, it’s important to make it enjoyable and memorable. As it’s rare that our country can agree on anything, an event which unites us as a nation can be a pretty powerful thing. While I encourage all Americans to keep their eyes on Washington, viewing location is paramount to the overall experience. It’s far better to digest inauguration from a location where you can actually watch the ceremony, amongst friends and with a drink than anything else… especially bobbing and weaving between tourists in the cold. Take my advice and you’ll thank me later. Guaranteed.